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I dont even know where to start with this. I have made so much improvement this semester and last semester its unreal to me. But do to the weather this weekend and my traveling abilities, job/school, I was not able to get as much practice time as I wanted. I went 3 days without playing the tuba which is the longest streak i have done since Christmas. Not that far away but definately good for me.

Last week my cheek puffing started to come back. It upsetted me. Yesterday and Today it has been at its worse level in a long time. I came out and told just straight up. This thing is back and its bothering me. Im unprepared for my lesson and im just really upset with the cheek puffing. He did give me helpful idea's and ways to make it sound better and to stop the cheek puffing. It does work but it was difficult for me to do it. I know things are not suppose to come early but to me, if it doesnt come natural or if i cant get it right, it bothers the hell out of me. And when i cant play the tuba the way i want i get in a pissy mood. Then i think of everything else i cant do right. I can play the guitar "decently" but im not great, upsets me. I dont get the necessary practice time in any instrument (guitar, Tuba, Piano, voice, sax) that im suppose to. Then i start thinking of Practice. I hate not getting the practice time i need in.

After that upsets me i think about school, Im on my second try at theory 2. Sometimes i get most of what josh says but i think i have a case of Adhd. Im not joking either. I was trying to get phrases/sentences adn all that stuff down today but the only thing that was going through my head was what songs should i do that will be cool for church. Im doing a sunday worship thing at my church in march. But i dont even know my key signatures. I dont know the "theory" or have the knowledge of others in the music department. That upsets me and makes me question my Major. Music is awesome and i couldn't think of doing anything else but when I think about it, when im getting D's in Theory/Woodwinds and other classes how does that make me capable of teacher others? Im a good musician compared to non-musicians but I'm starting to get from others and myself that as a musician in college, im nothing more than a "wannabe." I sometimes feel that others question me about my work ethics and knowledge. All i know that music is my life.

Now what can i do about all of this. Who should i rely on to fix this. Who can fix this? All arrows point towards me. I could stop working so much to make time for practice and studying. I could spend less time on hanging with friends and going out. I could take away from some musical aspects and come back to them until I have the knowledge and time to do it. It all comes down on how bad i want it and what im willing to do about it.

Most of this is coming out cuz im in a bad mood stage now. Im never in bad moods, i usually am the happy person and I am, just right now im upset with a few things, and when that happens i drag everything else down with it. Is my purpose here at Wayne State right for me. Am i doing what i should be doing? Or am I leading a path to no where.

Its been a while

Its been a while since my last post, so this will be a lengthy one.

Congrats to the New Orleans Saints! Vikings lost to them but they deserved that superbowl! Im a fan of the who but not a fan of there halftime show. Snooz patrol!

I spent a weekend in the studio recording 2 songs that i have wrote. They are super cool but my voice is not what i expected. I might need to find a singer to sing for me, should get them done here sometime in the next few weeks.

My practicing is going very well. I always find myself jumping into my solo and just skimming through my fundamentals and scales. I start playing my solo and it sounds like poo. So i keep going back and hitting my fundies and after im warmed up and relaxed and ready to play, i attack my solo and it sounds awesome. Im through two movements already and working on the third one. Im really enjoying my solo and hell, im even enjoy my kopprasch and Bordogni books. Im just enjoying playing. Looking into getting my own tuba. Looking into something like that isn't just a go out and buy. Its going to take sometime to collect money but when i do, it will be amazing.

Jason asked me to play tuba in a Tuba quartet for his Senior Recital. I about crapped myself! Might not seem like much to some but for me to Play tuba with Jason, Josh, and Mike, its a pretty big deal to me and quite an honor! I definately need to practice a few thousand times a week so i can keep up with them!

This Friday, Tong (Eric Klima) will be running for Freshman Class Royalty! Last year I recieved Freshman Class Royalty King and would want nothing more than to pass the crown to him. It would be awesome to see two band geeks in a row to get it. TAKE THAT SOCIETY!